sLap!

Right in my face.. there will be changes in my life after this.. have..to..have..changes..

I've been financially independent since i moved from Kuching to KL.. well.. this got worse.. I've been into a few holes.. and i've successfully climbed out of it and fall into another one shortly..

my weakness.. gadgets.. partys.. home entertainment.. car entertainment.. u name it.. i have it..

Today, i woke up from my dreamland.. just to realise that all this is just not worth it.. we can live our lives in such a normal way.. whereby we are unluckier than someone else.. envy is evil.. minding your own business is.. so?

constantly being unacceptable by envy.. which leds me to slap myself.. hard.. and realised the pain after awhile..

a few things have to go.. my indulgement into parties are first.. less clubbing.. less alcohol.. less unnecessary spendings.. my resistance to gadgets have to be increased.. i have almost everything a person my age dream of.. xbox360, wii, gaming computer, psp, big tv, surround sounds etc.. all of these have to stop.. as for transportation, i'm luckier than most people my age to be driving a car.. and yet with big wheels, big sounds, etc.. these have to stop too..

my goal is set.. and i'll be thriving towards it.. living like a normal person.. with normal lives..

gambateh to me..

wish me luck..

Ding Ding Ding!

Finally..



My lovely blackie is back..



Still a few hiccups here and there.. but it doesn't matter.. as long as it looks like a car finally.. lol



I like..

si beh soi

Phew.. it's been a long time since i've updated my blog.. well.. i'm here today with something big just happened to me.. You see.. Hells Gate just opened on the 15th of August.. This happened on the 17th August..



Yes.. i was the one driving it..



Both airbags popped out..



The back part also gone..

The car was upside down. Climbed out of the wreckage without a scratch on me. Thank God!!

Realisation

Today i realised.. Grandpa is still with me.. closer than ever.. i hugged him tight.. he told me that he will never leave me.. standing by my side.. he put is right arms around my shoulder while his left arms pointing the right way to me.. he always smile when i made a mistake.. because that's how humans learn.. i truly believe that he's the one who's always carrying me when i'm going through the hard times.. i was not like who i am before.. i can feel that i'm getting stronger as the days goes by.. Grandpa.. you truly showed me what love is.. This.. is love.. Kong Kong.. I miss you ='(

Yesterday was Grandma's birthday.. thought of giving her a great dinner.. as we arrived Dragon Seafood.. the 2 main dish has already depleted.. switched to Apollo Seafood.. had a nice dinner together with my dad, uncle and my lil sister.. i looked at Grandma.. my heart fills with hatred.. not because of her.. it's because after Grandpa left.. everyone around her treated her as the black sheep of the house.. even her own son.. i mean.. wtf right? You guys treat her good because you wanna give face to Grandpa? Go dinner also didn't ask her to go? Grandma no need to eat meh? Grandma didn't went to God together with Grandpa OK? She's still alive OK!! Mcb Really.. Whenever i thought of this.. i get really pissed.. REALLY PISSED!!!!!!!!!

Today is the last day of the holidays.. i'll be starting work tomorrow.. need to get some stuffs done first before i can get a car.. as i heard from a friend of mine.. he said that next year the Sultan of Brunei will cut off all import taxes on cars in Brunei to celebrate his 40th year on the Throne.. yeahhh.. Don't be surprised if i pull up to your driveway on a sweet looking car.. or rather a grunting sports car =D

I think this would be it.. today it's either i sleep sleep sleep and sleep.. or go fishing.. i think i go fishing will be better.. haha..

-Gone Fishing-

Home Sweet Home

Finally..

I've reached home.. Miri.. It's 1am and i can't sleep.. the reason behind this is there's lots of shit going through my mind now.. it doesn't seem to bug me that much but it does keep me awake.. you know.. sometimes it's those small small stuffs that gets you.. something that you don't see.. it's like a fart.. it's not the sounds that kills you.. yeah.. something like that..

I moved in with my cousins.. the old house doesn't seem right anymore without Grandpa.. everything's a mess.. take my word for it.. Now if only Grandma can move in with me, with that happening, my heart will be calm.. she's living there alone.. she's lonely.. although my uncle's there.. she's still lonely.. that's bother number 1.

Yay! Got my house line installed. Will be getting another streamyx and load balance it so i can have 2mbps combined =D~ my torrents will be a hell lot faster this way..

The office network is in a mess.. when there's budget allocated, i'll surely revamp the office's network and make it a proper one. I nearly got chocked as there's only WPA security on the wireless router. Fuck wireless.. i'm proposing all wired.. wireless sucks..

Gonna work in Brunei after raya.. which is next week.. i'll be assisting the operations manager of the Brunei company.. he'll be delegating some stuffs down for me to handle.. first things first.. the company's quota and the timesheet for the offshore crews.. need to get those done.. so i can get the bruneian work permit.. then i can buy cheapo cars! =D

Don't you feel bad when you're the last person to know about something? I'm not interested in other ppl's business but.. sigh.. well.. as the saying goes.. let dreams be in dreams.. let bygones be bygones.. i feld glad that i took the initiative not to talk about it and stay low and observe.. and voila.. bang.. it got me right between my eyes.. hurts a little.. well.. what to do.. i'm happy the way i am now.. without no commitments.. no worries.. i'm free to do whatever i want.. as long as my wallet says ok.. haha =p how lame..

Thought of going out for a drink tonight.. well.. nobody would accompany me.. while my friends in KL are going to Maison tonight.. Pussy Night in Maison is a heaven.. it's so good.. i get wet everytime i go in there.. Surrounded by girls.. i can honestly say that just by walking to the toilet, you'll get to rub and scrub more than 20 pairs of combination between boobs and arse.. i tell you.. don't pray pray arrr...

I MISS KL.. Where it only took me 1 phone call and i'll be out drinking.. doesn't matter what time of the day.. and also.. all my friends.. i miss you guys.. my heart are definitely still with you guys.. yours truly.. haha.. Miri is a dead town man.. altho called a city.. it still a town to me.. no improvements.. in terms of mentality.. you can't find a girl, walking into a club.. wearing t-shirts and short pants in KL can't you? Not even Ipoh! Damn i was so shocked when i saw a girl.. wearing their pyjamas into Balcony.. a place where guys check out girls and girls try to find their waterfish.. i mean.. come on lar.. grow up ppl!! And the usual / casual clubbingwear that i used to use in KL, Folded Long Sleeves / Short Sleeve Buttoned Shirt with Jeans.. and i'm called an uncle.. HELLO.. ok lar.. don't compare Miri to KL lar.. but if we don't move forward.. how the hell are we gonna grow bigger? we learn from the elders right? Exactly my point.. If i were to choose.. i'm gonna get out of miri man.. FAST.. luckily next week is 'after raya'.. and i'm officially employed.. I'm still jobless now.. crap..

I got a new wallet!! it's small.. it has suffecient pockets for all my stuffs.. it's small! have i mentioned small? small is cute mah.. don't have much money to put in there.. so i got myself a small one..

Hmm.. I miss everything about KL.. (i think i said that alot of times) The drinks here are dirt cheap! Bacardi Limon for RM200 <_< Black Label for RM250 <_< darn..

Friends in miri.. i'm so happy to be able to see all of you here.. had a nice gathering last night over at Kiong's place for dinner.. 2nd round not everyone showed up.. abit disappointed but it's understandable.. expected already.. hehe.. had lots of fun with the gang there.. managed to finish the bottle of Bacardi Limon, was expected to leave 50% there and come back 2 weeks later.. but what the hell.. haha..

I'm happy how things turn out to be for everyone here.. Wish all of you the best in everything you do.. and to my brothers and sisters here.. i got your back yah.. ^^

I think i'll end this here.. i think i can sleep already since everything (well.. almost..) in my head is out here..

I'mma try to sleep again..

Out..

Rant Mode ON

!@#$!%^!@#$!@#^$#^%&^*$%*$%^@@#$!$!@#!@%@%!$

I'd like to split this up abit.

1. Work
2. Love
3. Family
4. Future
5. Sex

ok.. for once in my life.. i'll be writing down what i really feel..

1. Work

Ever since my company got the project for CIMB/SBB Symantec Anti-Virus project.. work has been tough for me.. no time to do this.. no time to do that.. not even time for myself.. even though i still buy games for my Xbox360, it's just that i have no TIME at ALL to play it! hello.. averaging RM170 per game lei.. argh.. and i've been outstation quite often lately.. It was this that triggered my emotional breakdown for the next topic i'm going to talk about..

2. Love

Ever since i came back from JB after a 10 days trip. I got kicked out of the bed and up to the other bed which she didn't like to sleep on. I got invited to a party that i wasn't supposed to be. I got chased out of the house a few times. Where's the love? Ok.. i was mad.. i was furious.. i was.. oh well.. you know.. never felt so SCREWED before in my LIFE.. for 1 1/2 years we've been together.. of all the ups and downs we've been through.. she fell for another guy.. i can't feel love anymore here.. the once 'true' love that i knew.. has cheated on me.. we tried to patch it back together again.. for 3 fucking times.. but still.. i'm fucked.. it's like a virginity.. once you're fucked.. you're fucked.. time to find someone new.. i really hope that we could patch it back again.. and forget what has happened.. i guess it'll never happen.. but there's always one special someone who will always be in my heart.. no matter what i do.. no matter where i am.. i will think of her.. no matter how many relationship that has start and end on me.. she's still in my mind.. sometimes i even dreamed about her.. and sometimes i miss her so damn much.. and also.. even more keng.. sometimes i would daydream about her marrying me lol.. so stupid hor.. haihz.. she always call me stupid.. don't know if i'm really stupid or not lar.. but still.. she'll always be in my heart.. hopefully she's reading this.. or hopefully she knows that this even exists.. and if she felt the same way as i do.. that special someone would know who she is.. and she'll remain in my heart.. even though both of us knows that it is impossible for us to be together.. but at least it'll make me smile and cheer up just by thinking of her..

3. Family

Dad.. i'm coming back soon.. but what the hell.. i wish i don't get cheated back.. AGAIN.. and this time i'm not gonna fool around like what i did few years ago.. I'm serious of my career now.. targeting to get married before i turn 30 (hopefully someone will marry me :P) but first things first lah.. money.. although money isn't everything.. but it can buy every-'thing'.. well.. i've been working for like what.. 3 years already? i haven't saved up a bit.. i dedicated it all to someone else.. not only my partner.. but everything else.. i can never be stingy.. sometimes i think i treat someone too good.. until they'll take me for granted.. hurmph... this time i go back home.. i'll try my best to be stingy.. that's how rich ppl get rich anyway.. but then.. sigh.. daddy.. i miss home larr.. where the love has always been enough for me.. but Miri will never be the same again without kong kong around.. it's just.. different.. sigh..

4. Future

It's clear that my future lies at home.. the place where i belong.. KL is too big of a city for me.. and i don't think i'm ready to take it on here yet.. and yet some people still wish to go somewhere bigger.. like hong kong or sth.. siao eh.. never thought of the lifestyle that people live there.. sibeh susah wan u know.. u think like here, can relax.. can enjoy.. stupid.. think everything is like the movies mehhh.. movies will remain as movies.. they're fictional.. and inteded to make people like you and me who are just plain bored, entertained.. hence the name entertainment channel.. what happened in the movies.. stays in the movies.. don't re-enact it to reflect something or someone that you're not.. that's just plain bodohseng.. I wonder what's Miri has in store for me.. or maybe Brunei.. but somehow.. as everyone said.. there's no place like home.. Home Sweet Home..

5. Sex

I'm still wondering if i wanna write this down here..

aah..

Forget it..

Hit me baby one more time!

Okay.. Here i go again, can't sleep.. it's 3:06am.. why?

I feel like i'm in a cinema.. surround sound..

On my left, it's my sleeping beauty, susan.. she drives a little car.. smooth sounding.. but sometimes it gets loud as if it has already modified it's exhaust.. it's still bearable.. but there's one more..

Grandma.. she's on the queen size bed.. while me and susan is on the floor on a single bed.. which brings us back to where we started off, hehe =P

Grandma there.. woooo.. she's a hot rod.. VROOOOMM..

That's why..

The reason she's here, and the reason that i'm up now, are both linked.. memories..

Ever since my Grandpa went back to God.. life for her has been a trainwreck.. hit after hit after hit after hit.. and for me.. it wasn't.. i can still feel his presence around me everytime i thought of him.. i miss him.. very bad.. :'(

With Grandma around.. life has been more healthy for me.. she takes damn good care of us.. and finally i get to eat home cooked foods!! =D

As people say.. burning the midnight oil..

I'll be burning the midnight ciggies.. =D