Rant Mode ON

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I'd like to split this up abit.

1. Work
2. Love
3. Family
4. Future
5. Sex

ok.. for once in my life.. i'll be writing down what i really feel..

1. Work

Ever since my company got the project for CIMB/SBB Symantec Anti-Virus project.. work has been tough for me.. no time to do this.. no time to do that.. not even time for myself.. even though i still buy games for my Xbox360, it's just that i have no TIME at ALL to play it! hello.. averaging RM170 per game lei.. argh.. and i've been outstation quite often lately.. It was this that triggered my emotional breakdown for the next topic i'm going to talk about..

2. Love

Ever since i came back from JB after a 10 days trip. I got kicked out of the bed and up to the other bed which she didn't like to sleep on. I got invited to a party that i wasn't supposed to be. I got chased out of the house a few times. Where's the love? Ok.. i was mad.. i was furious.. i was.. oh well.. you know.. never felt so SCREWED before in my LIFE.. for 1 1/2 years we've been together.. of all the ups and downs we've been through.. she fell for another guy.. i can't feel love anymore here.. the once 'true' love that i knew.. has cheated on me.. we tried to patch it back together again.. for 3 fucking times.. but still.. i'm fucked.. it's like a virginity.. once you're fucked.. you're fucked.. time to find someone new.. i really hope that we could patch it back again.. and forget what has happened.. i guess it'll never happen.. but there's always one special someone who will always be in my heart.. no matter what i do.. no matter where i am.. i will think of her.. no matter how many relationship that has start and end on me.. she's still in my mind.. sometimes i even dreamed about her.. and sometimes i miss her so damn much.. and also.. even more keng.. sometimes i would daydream about her marrying me lol.. so stupid hor.. haihz.. she always call me stupid.. don't know if i'm really stupid or not lar.. but still.. she'll always be in my heart.. hopefully she's reading this.. or hopefully she knows that this even exists.. and if she felt the same way as i do.. that special someone would know who she is.. and she'll remain in my heart.. even though both of us knows that it is impossible for us to be together.. but at least it'll make me smile and cheer up just by thinking of her..

3. Family

Dad.. i'm coming back soon.. but what the hell.. i wish i don't get cheated back.. AGAIN.. and this time i'm not gonna fool around like what i did few years ago.. I'm serious of my career now.. targeting to get married before i turn 30 (hopefully someone will marry me :P) but first things first lah.. money.. although money isn't everything.. but it can buy every-'thing'.. well.. i've been working for like what.. 3 years already? i haven't saved up a bit.. i dedicated it all to someone else.. not only my partner.. but everything else.. i can never be stingy.. sometimes i think i treat someone too good.. until they'll take me for granted.. hurmph... this time i go back home.. i'll try my best to be stingy.. that's how rich ppl get rich anyway.. but then.. sigh.. daddy.. i miss home larr.. where the love has always been enough for me.. but Miri will never be the same again without kong kong around.. it's just.. different.. sigh..

4. Future

It's clear that my future lies at home.. the place where i belong.. KL is too big of a city for me.. and i don't think i'm ready to take it on here yet.. and yet some people still wish to go somewhere bigger.. like hong kong or sth.. siao eh.. never thought of the lifestyle that people live there.. sibeh susah wan u know.. u think like here, can relax.. can enjoy.. stupid.. think everything is like the movies mehhh.. movies will remain as movies.. they're fictional.. and inteded to make people like you and me who are just plain bored, entertained.. hence the name entertainment channel.. what happened in the movies.. stays in the movies.. don't re-enact it to reflect something or someone that you're not.. that's just plain bodohseng.. I wonder what's Miri has in store for me.. or maybe Brunei.. but somehow.. as everyone said.. there's no place like home.. Home Sweet Home..

5. Sex

I'm still wondering if i wanna write this down here..

aah..

Forget it..